DONT TOUCH MY HAIR.

Growing up it was usual to see Ugandan girls cut their hair. I was one of them. I dreaded it. Everytime strands of my hair fell to the floor at the barbers shop I felt horrid. I could not wait to grow old enough to grow my hair.

This is the common practice here at home. In schools you find most black girls cutting their hair short. The school administration tells us that our hair is shabby, untidy and not good enough to be kept.

This is a logic that was introduced in 1900 when the colonialists introduced schooling to the native black people in Uganda. These white colonialists viewed our hair as a mess that needed cleaning up for neatness and tidyness. This is mainly because of the texture and kink of our natural African hair. They then ordered that the natives cut their hair short to maintain neatness. Its a shame upon our elders that they still adhere to this rule. To the same rule that discriminated us as black people. The colonialist thought of our nature as inappropriate and acknowleged theirs as appropriate and superior. It is unfortunate that even after we conqured colonialism we still want to view aspects of our nature through their standards. Our elders and leaders are fond of blaming us for following western culture and yet it is them that are still enslaved in the white mans perception of their nature. The white man called our hair shabby and untidy and you do too.

Other than tidyness, the school administrators claim girls having hair in school could result to poor perfomance in school. Their explanation being that girls would spend hours beautifying their hair instead of doing school work. The best girls schools keep their natural hair in Uganda. Gayaza high school being one of them. This notion comes from the mentality that beauty can not run with brains, a common mentality in society. I myself studied in a school where I could keep my hair in highschool and the last thing that ever distracted girls was their hair. It was part of our bodies. We were used to our hair. It was not enough to distract us. We had alot of time during the weekend to work on it. And that took no time as girls where care free with their hair. We washed it often and held it in a ponytail while in school uniform. It would go unnoticed while doing schoolwork. The mentality of society that beauty makes a girl unintelligent is backward. My hair is not my brain. Its not my character. Its part of my femininity.

School administrators say that a black girls hair will make her more beautiful thus making her prone to defilers. This is the most ignorant statement made about rape and defilement. A woman is prone to rape irregadless of the state of her hair or her dresscode. Depriving girls of their freedom and right to their bodies does not protect them from the rapist. It instead discriminates them. A rapist is not a man who has appreciated a womans beauty. Its a man who intends violence towards a woman, and that has nothing to do with the beauty of a woman and to say so is to label all men potential rapists which i disagree with. It is like saying not wearing a bulletproof vest will attract a murderer to shoot you. A person is not allowed to rape a woman whether she has hair or not irregardless of her dresscode. And what proves that with shaved heads men wont defile girls?

To make such ignorant statements is to blame women for rape and defilement. Its to treat the female anatomy as an object not a person. Normal men do not rape or defile girls. Criminals do. And they dont need a shaved head or a long dress to stop them, they need justice, they need our leaders to see that a girls anatomy is not the problem but the rapists mentality is. My hair is not a sex object. Neither is my body. I am not an attraction to rape. The rapist is the problem not my hair.

More people have different reasons as to why black Ugandan girls should not keep their hair.

I say Black because under the same cicumstances mentioned above, girls of indian decent, biracial, or asian decent can keep their hair. Its clear that the negativity surrounds the black girls hair. Society teaches the black girl to hate her natural hair. To loose confidence in it. To loose esteem for it. Ive heard women make fun of other women wearing their hair natural. Women resort to all sorts of chemicals to relax their hair so as its straighter. Wearing weaves to cover our natural hair. This is what years of shaming girls hair looks like.

Why do you teach us to be ashamed of our hair and then point fingers at us for adopting western culture. The same western culture that is now promoting this freedom. Havent you taught us all our lives that our beauty standards are not as “standard ” as theirs by allowing them to have their natural hair in our schools but not us. By telling us to straighten our hair like their natural texture. By accepting their natural hair before accepting ours?

I choose my natural hair. And I support black Ugandan girls to do so too. Our hair is not shabby. Its kinky. Nappy. Wooly.

Our hair is not a distraction its part of our image and our femininity. Its part of our identity as black women of Uganda.

May our sisters and daughters love their hair. May they have authority over their image. May they be proud of the colour of their skin and the texture of their hair for we Black Ugandan women are beautiful in our natural form.

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THE SLAY QUEEN: Taking back her crown.

If you ever find yourself wandering in Kenyan or Ugandan blogs you might just come across articles describing and defining the term Slay Queen and her characteristics.

A female voice over a Ugandan blog explaining how she exclusively is not a slay queen or a male voice over a Kenyan blog confidently in ignorance presenting degratory mockings about what he assumes is the meaning and lifestyle if a slay queen.

So, who is this woman that “dignified” women dont want to be and ignorant men mock?

Their definition would be a woman or girl who is naive and clueless about almost everything, has no goals or ambitions, depends on promiscuity and lives beyond her means. Theyll call her fake and a slut and warn others of her kind. In my opinion such a woman would not have the title Queen.

Today, am here to take you back to the roots of the true meaning of a slay queen. The term slay queen, to suprise the small-minded, means a woman with a healthy self esteem, who can slay any given person by stating their opinion.

She is a powerful, classy, witty and confident woman who isint easily backed down. A slay queen is typically a beautiful, wise and independent woman. Characteristics of this kind of woman is she is the combinatiin of beauty and brains, yeah, you know that stereotype that women are either beauty or brains… totally smashed and its reality is the slay queen.

She is a beautiful woman with a classy sense of fashion, a ton of self-love and confidence and a smart brain to tone it all up.

The ones who do not accept her call her anything opposite to who she is to perhaps bring her down and they have managed to. Theyve called her slut and undignified for reasons that satisfy their entertainment, ego and even self esteem. Is that how intimidated you are by her? If not then for what reason would you tarnish what she has built up for herself?

Today, every smartly dressed beautiful woman with a selfie in her favourite hangout spot can be categorised as a slay queen but the negative type, the one that presents her as lazy, undignified, clueless naive slut.

But who said a woman shouldnt be able to love herself just to prove shez ambitious? Or that a woman shouldnt wear makeup and dress fancy if she wants to be smart and have a career as well? Who decided that a woman shouldnt want a fancier life for herself, a fancy phone, hotel, car or wardrobe? And if this woman wants a good looking man to match her efforts why must you think she should feel shamed? Why does society expect her to be ashamed for wanting and loving a fancy life if she can get it for herself? Why does it offend you so much that she is living her life for herself and not for your amusement? It does offend you so you attack her sexuality, and use it to potray her as witiless and degrade her femininity.

One may ask what slay queen has to do with femininity and ill answer everything. Slay queen is a term that is all through feminine. A slay queen embraces her femininity with the way she loves to dress on point for anything anyday and anytime. She will wear makeup and have her hair and nails done because that makes her feel good because its feminine. And thats why degratory statements toward a slay queen could be degratory towards femininity. Its not a new thing for society to attack a womans femininity to put her down, its a common weapon one used mostly by the opposite gender, men. Go on social media and you will find that the most people using the term slay queen as degratory term are men using it towards a certain kind of female who falls in the category of beautiful, smartly dressed, classy. You will find comments directly targeting her make up, her body shape, her dressing all which are aspects of her femininity. Just by looking at her, theyll assume (or want to assume) that she has no goals in life, no purpose, double standards and fending off the pockets of rich old men.

You cant ignore the fact that slay -kings who are the counterparts are not judged this way even though they have the same characteristics say they post dozens of pictures as well, are good looking, dress classy and live a fancy life of fancy hotels, cars, etc but are never called slutty, naive, clueless, promiscuous men who live a double standard life, no they are just slay-kings. As a matter of fact, a slay king is what most men aspire to be! Smart, independent, good-looking, and fancy rich. But when a woman is a slay queen shez the opposite shes the selfish one who cant raise a family coz she only loves herself, she the wife that wont love you coz she loves herself, shes the woman who wont date you coz she loves herself, a slut because she wants more for herself.

Men who feel like this often think that a woman is there to exist for them and the moment it occurs to them that they are wrong, that she actually exists for herself then shez down to a slut. They then directly attack and insult her femininity attempting to reduce her to a position where she exists for them.

People like this intend to potray the slay queen as something far negative than her original meaning.

A slay queen is a home builder because she will slay at being a wife and slay at being a mother. A woman who loves herself and is confident in her femininity can never despise being a mother and a wife. She will slay at prayer, because she knows its God that adorned her with femininity and crowned her a Queen.

A slay queen is self dependent and she works hard to earn the fancy life that she deserves.

She has goals, careers, ambitions, dreams and still achieves them in six inch heels and long lashes.

A slay queen is not what you define her. She is what she defines herself.

Whoever those naive, clueless, promiscuous beautiful girls who cluster your social media and fall under your small-minded category are, they aint slay queens. They something else.

Because SlayQueen is much, much bigger than that. Its a mentality. Its an attitude. A character. It’s wits. Its dignity and class. Its beautiful and feminine. Its a Crown.

You are only lucky to have one in your life.